If I had an evil twin brother, this is what he would do…
Sorry I murdered everyone at your party, but as an introvert, I prefer one-on-one interactions to group gatherings.
I’m really sorry that everyone is dead. I prefer animals to people.
Sorry I killed everybody! I just really need my alone time.
Sorry that everyone is dead. They weren’t respecting my quiet power and inner strength. It’s a common misconception that introverts can’t lead; we’re just not always the first to speak up.
Sorry I butchered all of your friends in front of you. It’s just that I’d rather curl up at home with a good book than go to a party.
Via Kottke, full text here.